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Questions to Ask During Your Divorce Mediation in Oregon

Published September 29, 2021
The divorce mediation process requires you to cover a lot of ground, so it’s helpful to keep several questions in mind as you navigate the process. The mediator can remind you to keep your goals in sight, focus on the task at hand, and discuss how changes can be made after the divorce is finalized.

In Oregon, divorcing couples can go through the mediation process to negotiate important aspects of their separation, such as the division of property, spousal support, child custody, and more. While the mediation process encourages both parties to participate in shaping the outcome, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed by the complexity of the issues before you—especially as they tend to be deeply personal. As you approach mediation, it can be helpful to prepare some guiding questions to ask yourself, your soon-to-be ex-spouse, and the mediator to ensure that the process moves smoothly. Here are some ideas to help you get started.

What Are My Divorce Goals?

As you move through the divorce process, you likely have started envisioning what your life will look like once the divorce is finalized. Will you continue to live in your home? Will you move to be closer to extended family? If you have children, what steps will you take to ensure they receive the support they need? It’s common to become overwhelmed by the sheer volume of decisions you need to make, so make sure to ask yourself about your goals now and then to ensure that you take steps to achieve them.

What Aspect of the Divorce Are We Currently Resolving?

Most divorces require you to make decisions on a variety of important issues. In general, you’ll be asked to discuss asset division and spousal maintenance. If you have children, you’ll also need to make child custody and child support arrangements. Due to the volume of decisions and topics involved in divorce mediation, it’s easy to lose track of what issue you are currently resolving. If you feel disoriented or confused at any point during mediation, take a step back and consider the topic at hand. As you discuss a particular issue and a question arises about a different matter, write it down so you can address it at the appropriate time.

Can We Make Changes After the Divorce is Finalized?

Even if you’ve negotiated the terms of your divorce and moved forward into the next chapter of your life, circumstances may shift and necessitate some changes. Before you find yourself in this situation, ask the mediator how modifications should be handled after the divorce is finalized. Mediators often have valuable insights to share, and they’ll help you create an agreement that allows for flexibility when the time comes.


If you are considering mediation for your divorce, the compassionate legal team at Lee Tyler Family Law, P.C. is here to help. Call our Portland office today at (503) 233-8868 to get started with a dedicated family law attorney and mediator.

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